


Kagome/Sesshomaru Parody

by ChibiMethos



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Gen, crack-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 00:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiMethos/pseuds/ChibiMethos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crack-fic  for my favorite Inuyasha paring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kagome/Sesshomaru Parody

**Author's Note:**

> All spelling errors were deliberate, as well as all silliness. I tried to incoprorate all the things I hate about badly written fanfiction into one short story. I couldn’t get review responses in, but I tried.

Kagome Higurashi was minding her own busisness, wandering aimlessly through a youkai filled forest with out a care or a weapon in the world. She was on the short path to the well, but she knew that it would take a good 45 story minutes for her to get there.  On the way, she spotted a smallish shopping booth she’d never seen before. The sign over the booth read: CUSTOME YOUKAI WHILE U WAIT.

            *I need that,* she decided. Kagome went up to the booth. “Hi, I’d like to . . .buy a  . . .demon?”

            Squeezed into the booth were about 50 young people, aged between 12 and 16 years. They didn’t hear Kagome because they were busy writing a Round Robin CANNON/ALT PAIRING/OC/HIGH SCHOOL/MPREG/RAPE ficie. Or at least they would be, if they weren’t arguing over the finer points of the plot.

            “What’s wrong with making Kags a Neko-Inu-Wesel-Miko Youkai? She’d be _beautiful_!” Whined one writer. Another scoffed.

            “No way! Bat hanyou with Inu instints. That’s the way to go.”

            “NO!” A third countered. “Inu Shikon Miko Youkai with shifter abilities. She could even change sex.”

            Everyone stopped talking and looked at the new speaker.

            “She could turn into a boy?”

            “Sure. But HE’d still _want_ her.”

            “Oooh” The group sighed in apprecation. Now it was SHONEN-AI too.

 Kagome was confused, but called out in the insuing silance: “I’d like to buy a youkai.”

Everyone looked up and a tall girl came over.

“Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting. What can I get you?”

“I need to be able to fly without Kirara and see in the dark.” The tall girl smiled.

“We have just the parts you need.” The group shifted.

“We do?”

“Sure. Didn’t To-Tahll FanGrll finish ‘ _Fill Me Up_?”

“No,” someone spoke up. “I’m To-Tahll FanGrrll. I had to go on hiatus. My muse abandoned me.” She burst into tears. The tall girl at the counter turned back to kagome.

“Can you hang  on just a sec? Here’s some water while u wait.”

Kagome opened the bottle and drank, the  grimaced as she fell gracefully to the ground. But before she hit, brusing her delicate, alabaster skin (A/N No small feet, staying pale while out in the sun all day ^_^;;) Sesshomaru fell through a plot hole and catched her.

When he appeared, the sig  on the booth changed to ‘HUMANZ 4 SALE CHEEP!’

SesshoMaru gently laid Kagome on the counter and caressed her cheek with one deadly, clawed finger.

“My Kami, they almost destroyed you!” Then he frowned, looked at the booth, the sign and the people in the booth.

“What the hell is goin on? One minute I’m walking with Rin and thinnking lustful thoughts about a 8 year old, while greviously abusing Jaken, and the next, I’m here—” He looked down at Kagome. “With this . . . exquizit creature. Kami, I think I’m in love.”

The girl that gave Kagome the water answered. “You my Taiyoukai are one lucky, lucky demon.”

“I am?”

“Yes! This is out last miko for sale! The one and only Guardian of the Shikon no Tama.”

Sessho Maru looked down at her again. “And I’m buying her?”

“Cheep 2. you’re brother will be pissed.”

Inside the booth, some one yelled: “You can’t! it’s Cannon!” They were quickly muffled.

Sesshou-maru’s eyes narrows. “How much?”

“200,000 Yen.”

“Done.” He pulled out 200,000 yen from his HammerSpace sleeve pocket.

“Wait!” Someone called. “ They used ‘Mon’ and ‘Ryo,’ not yen. It’ll be 200,000 Ryo.”

“ah.” Sesshou-Maru tilted his head slightly, considering. “That’s kind of steep I’ll give you 150.”

“175.”

“155.” Kagome stirred and HE leaned down. “For your own health, you _will_ go back to sleep.” She fell silant and Sesshomaru turned back to the wrighter.

“155.”

“175,” she insisted. “Miko’s are hard to come by.”

Fluffy huffed. “oh, very well.” He started to hand over the money, when someone slse from the recesses of the booth called out:

“We’ll tale off 20 Ryo if you’ll take Shippou and keep them together as mother and son.”

“Deal!”

20 Ryo were handed back and Shippo (A/N: also unconcious) was given to the Western Lord. He departed, carrying them with botharms

 (A/N: I like fluffy-chan with 2 arms, so that’s how it will be in this ficcie.).

 The demon lord was slightly perplexed _why_ he’d just dropped  almost 3 large for a fox kit and a miko he didn’t meed.

“RIN COULD ALWAYS USE A MOTHER!” 60 people called after him.”

 

***

 

**END**

 

 

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